Wedding Guest List Tips

Often times, couples create a guest list saturated with obligation and guilt. Names include co-workers, family, and friends they rarely spend time with outside of reunions and annual office parties. Conceivably, they may not be the individuals you'll want to join you on the most important day of your life. Your wedding guests are more than onlookers. They embrace your heart-filled 'I Do' and declare 'We Do' with you and your spouse. By accepting your invitation, your guests consciously make a promise to cheer for you when times are awesome and support you if times get bumpy. Choose wisely, keeping the following tips in mind as you build your guilt-free wedding guest list. 

As we get closer to the ten-month mark I’ll share tips on actual invitations; for now let’s concentrate on building a guest list that will bring you and your fiancé joy.

Where Do You Begin

Let me start by stating, you cannot please everyone. There will be some people you’re unable to invite and that’s okay. You don’t want to invite someone out of fear of hurting their feelings. It’s your day. (I will remind you of this often.) Take your time and come up with a plan and a number. 

Having a good idea of how many guests you’ll expect is critical when deciding on a reception venue. On average 85% of the guests you invite will attend, so don’t worry about going over if you invite a few extra guests. Over the next few months, your guest list may change for various reasons, however now is the best time to aim for a number that fits your budget. (For more about budgets, see my post "Wedding Budget Tips - Avoid Stress and Enjoy Planning Your Dream Wedding")

Family

Parents, siblings, and grandparents are a no-brainer. Aunts, uncles, and first cousins may also be easy decisions. The stickier choices are distant family members and long-lost friends. Inviting extended family that you haven’t seen or spoken to since your first boyfriend may force you to exclude someone like a college roommate. My suggestion — add them to the B-List, which I cover later.

Friends

Certainly, you’ll each want the friends you grew up with, broke curfew with, and laughed with until your stomach ached to join you on the conga line. You can already imagine the pure joy of watching them attempt to catch your aromatic bridal bouquet or the highly coveted satin and lace garter belt. Most likely, these friends may make up your bridal party. 

So, how do you choose other friends to invite? Two words, mutual friends. Over the course of your relationship, you’ve spent time with each other’s friends and developed a new bond with them as a couple. In my case, this strategy eased the pain of leaving some names off the list.  

Don’t forget to extend an invitation to couples whose weddings you’ve attended as a couple over the years.

Plus One?

Okay, a few of your cousins and friends happen to be single. Don’t feel pressured to encourage a plus one. It’s your day. Besides, it may not be your intention, but your wedding may turn out to be their lucky day and your guest will meet the person of their dreams. 

Consider extending allowances for invitees that are engaged or in a long-term relationship. 

Children-friendly?

While little girls and boys look adorable in their formal attire, it is acceptable not to invite them to your wedding. Be sure to inform your guests in advance if your affair will be children-free. Include “Adult Only” on the reception card. Try to avoid making exceptions or your energy may be spent on your wedding day explaining yourself instead of enjoying yourself.

The B-List

Absolutely. You should have a backup list. Give yourself enough time to receive your A-List RSVPs. Sending out “Save the Dates” is another way to narrow down your guest list early in the process. Keep track of the percentage of “no’s”. Feel free to send invitations to your B-List when at least 10-12% of your invitees are unable to attend. There’s no need to change your original RSVP date however, I suggest you give them at least three weeks to respond. 

Whatever you decide, be sure to follow the strategy you and your fiancé agree upon and you’ll breeze through the selection process.  

Congratulations! Best wishes and enjoy the journey.